Crazy Alert!

Keifer Bonvillain claimed to have hours of taped interviews proving that Oprah is not what she seems, and wanted to write a book about it. When no publisher would risk incurring her wrath, Bonvillain went the self-published route. While I have no plans to order the book myself (the website's shoddy design and the author's use of a comic book-worthy nom de plume do little to instill confidence in this credit card holder), the website's worth a look, if for no other reason than the loony chapter descriptions.

Here's a few:

Chapter 1: A Chance Encounter
The author is contacted by Harpo employee.

Chapter 2: Oprah's Attorney Called and He's Scared!
Author shares transcribed tapes of his conversation with Oprah’s attorneys.

Chapter 4: Did He Say Extortion?
The day of author’s arrest. (Includes never before released legal documents surrounding author’s arrest and the seizing of his property.)

Chapter 5: I’m the Infamous Oprah Extortionist
Author discusses world-wide media coverage of his arrest. (Includes documents showing how FBI kept author’s car for a month.)

Chapter 10: Lord I Need You
Author seeks spiritual guidance.

Chapter 16: Mystique around Oprah’s Sexual Preferences
The Other Woman.

Chapter 17: A Mutually Beneficial Subterfuge
Author discusses Oprah’s relationship with Stedman Graham.

Chapter 24: Birds of a Feather
The author discusses shocking statistics and uncovers a dark bond between Oprah and Obama. What you should know before you cast your presidential vote.

(Editor's note: I'd almost dismissed it as tabloid trash until I read the description of Chapter 10. Now I'm a believer!)