Oy vey! Hanukkah is Only Five Days Away!

Hanukkah starts this Sunday at sundown. Have you bought your Jewish friends their gifts yet? We Chosen Ones don't want to wait 'til the 25th for our presents any more than you want to wait 'til the 29th* for yours. But you jolly Gentiles needn't despair. (Despair is our thing!) Books Etc. has put together a list of Hanukkah Gifts for Adults.** You use this, and you'll go from insensitive shmoiger to goen Goy -- instantly.

*The 29th is the last day of Hanukkah, y'all.
** Don't worry about our kids. They're easy. They want video games, just like the uncircumcised ones.