Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Book News, In Brief

Having grown bored with simply warping the romantic fantasy worlds of their reality-deprived readership, Harlequin has teamed up with print-on-demand publisher Author Solutions to eff with their readers' writing fantasies as well.

Britain's bestselling anonymous author/high-class whore has gained the respect of millions hundreds after revealing herself to be a -- wait for it -- neurotoxicology scientist. The lesson for sexually abused young ladies considering a career in blowjobs and blogging? Get that PhD, girl!

The residents of Poligny, France banded together to buy the lease to their local, failing, indie bookstore, all in an effort to keep it up and running. Note to our Right-wing readers still stuck in the halcyon days of domestic terrorism: 'Freedom fries' is out. We're now calling them 'F*ck yeah fries' or 'Charity chips.' and The Philadelphia Enquirer held hands, closed their eyes, and took a giant leap in logic, introducing the insane hypothesis that non-fiction is "easier to read" than fiction because (1.) "memoirs are easier for book groups to discuss" and (2.) would-be writers prefer penning memoirs to novels. Using these same two groups' preferences, I've come up with a couple more crap hypothesis: (1.) The easiest foods to eat are wine and Pepperidge Farms products and (2.) in the age of print-on-demand publishing and the Espresso book machine, typing = writing.

Updated 11/22: While disagreeing views are always welcome, please try and keep things civil. Inappropriate comments will be deleted (and this is coming from a site/staff that, in past week alone, has referred to itself as “failures,” “mediocre lovers,” “bitches,” “impotent,” “bitter old a-holes,” and “backwoods, book-loving belligerents”).