Call me a cynic...

...but when I read that an anonymous patron recently returned two high-school library books that were due back in 1958 (along with a $1000 money order!), my first thought was: Either this guy's trying to temporarily alleviate himself of the guilt over the dozens of dismembered bodies buried in his backyard, or having overdue library books was actually the worst thing he'd ever done in his life. Either way, I'd hate to have him as a dinner guest.