Friday, September 25, 2009

Bookstore Burglaries & Police Briefs

An armed robbery at an adult bookstore in Iowa perfectly illustrates Sigmund Freud's old axiom: "Sometimes a gun is both a gun and a penis."

Taking advantage of our industry's 100% literacy rate and abnormally advanced ability to picture in our minds whatever it is we read, a criminal in California held up a bookstore using only a note saying, "Gun."

A man wearing a 'Silence is Golden' t-shirt held up a Kansas City bookshop Tuesday afternoon. Police believe the shirt to be a poor choice in clich├ęs & clothing and not an attempt to suppress witness testimony.

Remember when I told you about that popular, new, 'textbooks only' approach to bookshop shoplifting? Well, one such shoplifter, while fleeing store security, accidentally fell off a cliff. Here's hoping this EPIC FAIL ending also becomes a fad.