Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday's Tips for Tipsy Writers

Today's Tips are dedicated to all of the dedicated drinkers-slash-scribblers out there. Some may call you drunks, lushes, alcoholics and inebriated no-good-nicks, but I call you Mom and Dad. And baby sister. And older brother. And disheveled, teary-eyed motherf*cker staring back at me in the monitor's reflection. Anyway, enough about me and mine. This post is for you! Knock back another one and enjoy the blurry bon mots below!

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion. -- Miguel de Cervantes

God made yeast, as well as dough, and he loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds. -- Ernest Hemingway

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -- Ernest Hemingway, again.

It is a fair wind that blew men to the ale. -- Washington Irving

I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. -- Jack Kerouac

I work until beer o'clock. -- Stephen King

He was a wise man who invented beer. -- Plato

Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies come to life and fade away. What care I how time advances; I am drinking ale today. -- Edgar Allan Poe

Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish. Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. -- Proverbs 31: 6,7

I would give all my fame for a pot of ale, and safety. -- Billy Shakespeare

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. -- Oscar Wilde

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. -- William Yeats

Here's where you come in. If'n you're partial to any other alcohol-related quotes from the world of books and sonnets, please send them to me via the comments section below. I'll add them to the main list as they arrive.

Update: Hmn...now that the Kahlua in my Cocoa Krispies has worn off, I'm beginning to notice a teensy-tiny problem with today's tips. Namely, that they're not tips at all! They're hastily cribbed quotes! That's why, in a half-assed attempt at an equally rushed remedy, I attached links to a handful of the inebriated author's names. If you can steady your hand long enough to click these links, you'll be directed to random bits of writing advice from the accompanying authors. Cool, no? And as an added bit of filler content, I'm also gonna point you towards Gaia.com, where the anime-eyed posters are furiously debating How to Write Drunk Characters. Surely this will come as some help...to someone...some day. Until then, may all your toasts be brief.