Saturday, April 18, 2009

The First Time is Always Awkward

Welcome, nameless, faceless, perfect stranger. Thanks for stopping by. Tell me, what was it that finally pushed you into my arms? Was it something I said? (That thing about your teeth, perhaps? It was meant constructively.) Something I wore? (Or didn't wear -- hint, hint.) Or was it the recent links/shout-outs that The Hooded Utilitarian and Vertigo Books gave/shouted at us?
No, wait. You don't have to answer that. You don't have to say anything. All that matters is that you're here. Now. Finally. And I plan to make this experience a magical one for both of us. That's why I'm pointing you towards the 'Categories' listing on the lower left hand side of your screen. From there, you can direct yourself to those posts of personal and particular interest, whilst deftly skirting those subjects that might make you bored or uncomfortable or self-righteously indignated. ('Indignated.' Is that even a word? Spell Check doesn't seem to think so, but then, Spell Check still gives me the red, dotted line under the words 'Barack Obama,' and he's our First Black President. Racist!)
Okay, so I'm going to leave you alone now while I slip into something more comfortable. In the meantime (Have you ever tried to squeeze your head into a spiked, pleather face mask without baby powder or Vaseline? It aint easy.), feel free to look around, sign up as our follower (I promise: No mass suicides), and talk mad sh*t in our comments section (Note: Please refrain from using cuss words unless said cuss words use asterisks in lieu of vowels).
On behalf of the tender, loving, and completely non-judgmental staff here at The Inkwell Bookstore, I'm delighted that you decided to join us.
It's about goddamned time.